On last Thursday, we had our 1st endocrinologist consult. Basically, he said this could be absolutely nothing at all OR Lucas has a rare genetic mutation which means he will have rickets for the rest of his life. All I heard was there is a chance Lucas will have a reduced quality of life with possible issues with even standing or walking. The doctor said we will not have a final diagnosis for 3 plus months. He wants us to take some additional blood & urine tests. As soon as we walked out of the doctor’s office, I started crying. I felt overwhelmed and frightened for Lucas. Bryan held me & did everything to make me smile & not give up hope.
Later on in the evening, I started bawling and told Bryan that I was actually angry at God. Bryan decided we were calling Bob (Papa) & Peggy (Nani) to talk this out. Crazy timing. Bob & Peggy were just starting their bible study at the house. Peggy answered the phone & quickly said she wanted us to share our fears with the group so she put us on speaker phone. While crying, I explained to the group that I was angry at the Lord for once again bringing another issue Lucas’ way. We already dealt with my water breaking at 26 weeks, giving birth at 34 weeks, a large surgery at day 1 of life, a blood transfusion, and a few months of blood issues. Still fighting the cdiff and lower stricture issue. Now, we may have a life long medical issue with rickets?!?! How can these constant issues be a part of God’s plan? When will we finally get a break? I have held it together and rarely cry. Whenever something goes wrong, I immediately looks towards making a game plan and don’t shed a tear. This time, I felt like it was too much & I was ready to break! Then, a small group member named Yemi said a powerful prayer. She prayed the Lord would take away our fears and fill our hearts with hope. Don’t forget the Lord is right by our sides walking this road with us. At the end of this road, we will see the light and look back and finally see all of the Lord’s blessings. For now, we can not give up hope. The Lord is almighty. He will not forsake us. Such a powerful & uplifting prayer! As soon as we hung up the phone, I felt inspired and even thanked the Lord for giving us the small group at the very moment I was ready to break. The Lord has amazing timing indeed!
May our story be an inspiration to others of the power of Jesus Christ. He does not promise you a perfect life if you are a follower. But he promises us peace and his strength. As one of my favorite Christian songs says, “your grace is enough”!